Co-parenting can be hard, however, if you and your co-parent can work to put aside the reasons you are no longer together, you can start to work on your new relationship that you have as

Smooth and effective co-parenting may not happen overnight, however, it is important to start out immediately after separation with co-parenting as best as you can. The separation of parents is hard for children and one way to make the transition from an intact family to a split family a little smoother is for the parents to work together for the best interests of the children.

TIP 1: COMMUNICATE WITH THE OTHER PARENT IN A POLITE MANNER. There should be no cursing in your communications, and they should not be rude in nature. Set more of a business like tone. Don’t demand, but rather make requests.

TIP 2: RESPOND TO COMMUNICATIONS IN A TIMELY MANNER. Don’t take days to respond to the other parent’s communications. On the flip side, give the other parent time to respond after you send a communication.

TIP 3: SEEK OUTSIDE HELP TO LEARN HOW TO EFFECTIVELY CO-PARENT. Don’t be afraid to go to joint co-parenting counseling. This is where you and your co-parent meet with a counselor to work on your co-parenting skills and a place that you can work through an issue that you may be having. You can also attend a co-parenting class. This is usually a group setting where you learn information on how to better to co-parent. In short, co-parenting counseling is when the co-parents work directly with a counselor on their specific co-parent relationship, and a co-parent course is a group setting with general information. Depending on the history of the co-parents relationship, co-parenting counseling may be helpful to work through some past issues in order to move forward.

TIP 4: SEEK COUNSELING FOR YOU IF NEEDED. Evaluate whether or not you need to seek counseling for you to help you grieve the separation of the relationship and to obtain tools for moving forward both independently from your ex and as a co-parent with your ex. You may also want to seek the advice of a counselor to obtain the tools to parent your children through this difficult time.

TIP 5: DON’T TALK NEGATIVELY ABOUT YOUR CO-PARENT TO THE CHILDREN. This shouldn’t need to be said, however, it happens all too often. Children love their parents regardless of your love for your co-parent. Talking negatively about the other parent to your children causes them hurt and conflict.

TIP 6: DON’T USE THE CHILDREN AS MESSENGERS. You and your co-parent need to be communicating about the children. The children should not have to relay messages back and forth. Let the children be children.

TIP 7: CONSIDER A SHARED PARENTING TOOL. There are companies that parents can sign up for to communicate through. Many of them have other features as well. If co-parents are having difficulty communicating, a shared parenting tool may be beneficial.

This list is just a short list of tips to consider. Always remember to be kid focused and towards what is in their best interests, listen to your co-parent, and respond productively.


For assistance with child custody and visitation contact Sara Thompson, a Roseville Child Custody Lawyer.

Law Office of Sara S. Thompson, PC
1624 Santa Clara Drive, Suite 120
Roseville, CA 95661